Monday, November 14, 2011

I have to break up with you... but listen, it's not me... it's you.

11/14/2011 - 2nd Day - Mid-Afternoon– Greetings y’all.  Social media, for the most part, is the perfect example of what the Internet and computers have done to society.  At it's best, social media allows for rapid action in identifying wrong and applying pressure to fix things.  For example, if Coke were to come out with "New Coke" today, they'd be instantly swamped by tweets saying "it's crap" and they'd have to bring back the Old Coke in days instead of in months.  And social media might have figured out that the long-con against Coke drinkers was successfully accomplished through the "New Coke" fiasco.  When Old Coke (Coke Classic) was brought back... it wasn't Old Coke at all.  That was when the change was made from cane sugar to High Fructose Corn Syrup.  So while the world celebrated the return of Old Coke, in reality they had the real New Coke (with HFCS), which is the junk being sold today as Coke... but I digress.  Social media can serve a purpose, especially in allowing customers and companies to hear one another.  It has served to educate many people on what is going on with their food, and how their food and meds are being dangerously adulterated with poisons and poisonous practices.  The recent story that store-bought "honey" is usually not "honey" at all, is a case-in-point.


So why the talk about social media?


Because I have a problem with Facebook, and that is why I will be breaking up with many of you.


Really, it's not me... it's you.


Listen, I signed up on Facebook in the beginning as sort of a self-defense plan.  I've found that when I limit my availability on the Internet through social media, I get inundated with emails - each requiring a long, personal response.  If I limit my accessibility on email, then people come to the ranch and want to spend two days talking at me.  Facebook and other social media allows me to:  a.) keep in touch with friends, associates, and earnest students who truly are desiring to live a better and more Biblical life; and b.) make myself, my lifestyle, and my doings available in a wide way without completely destroying my personal and family time.  This has caused some problems in my life, and I know you'll understand when I explain why I can't see (some of) you any more.


You see, first I started with just a regular Facebook page.  I was inundated with things they call "friends" requests, many from people I did not know at all.  Many of the friends requests were from people I may have known in High School, although my memory of anything having to do with High School is minimal.  Well, when I added one or two old friends from High School, the dam broke and then a couple of hundred people who I may or may not have known in High School "friended" me.  That was only the beginning.  Soon, there were friend requests from people I didn't know at all, and after that, people I did know were "friending" people I had never heard of.   Then they were emailing me asking me why Pervert X (the person I never knew) was trying to find out where they live.


In addition, real friends and family were getting "friend requested" by people who were actually just barely known "friends" of the ministry, but who I personally did not know.  Then the real friend or family member would email me to ask me who so-and-so was.


So... I acted.  I deleted about 90% of my facebook "friends", explaining politely that things were out of hand and that I needed a better way to protect myself and others from the onslaught which is thefacebook.  Then someone told me about what was then called "fan pages".  Since I am somewhat of a public figure (in a very limited genre, for sure), I was told to start a "fan page" which would allow people to communicate with me (and vice versa) without me giving them the keys to my house, my children, my family, and my rolodex.  Sounded great, but apparently some people who follow your every move via technology, memorize esoteric details of your life to the nth degree, and who don't mind showing up to your house and spend two days talking at you about what they think, also don't like being called "fans"...  Yeah.  Apparently it is dehumanizing and condescending and it hurts the pride of some people who otherwise would have to be called stalkers.


I was not surprised that, although 500 people who I never knew and who were never my friends, wanted to be called "friends" on facebook, only about 100 of those were willing to be called "fans", even if the content I was providing on the two pages was nearly identical.  Pride is a fickle thing.  You wanted to be my "friend" and listen to me complain about being discriminated against by Paypal, but you didn't want to read the exact same update if you had to be called a "fan"...  Even though we were never friends to begin with.  In fact, before thefacebook, I didn't even know you existed.  Makes sense.

Then facebook changed from "fans" to "likes", which makes no sense at all, but it was just non-humiliating enough that some people were willing to go for the change.  Not many, mind you.  But a few.  As of today, I only have 213 "likes" on my fan page, even though I receive 2 or more "friend" requests a day on most days... even though I explain to people that I won't "friend" them, but they can "like" my page and they'll get the same level of communication and mostly the same updates.  Only about 1-5 people out of 100 will actually "like" my page, even though I don't know them and they sent me a friend request.  Boggles the mind.

But through one means or another, quite a few people stayed on my "friends" page, who were never my friends, and who I never really knew.  I kept you on, because you were the friend of a friend, or because you were once a supporter of the ministry, or because perhaps you wrote me a private message asking to be kept on my friend's list.  Maybe you ARE even my friend, possibly from way back, and so, uncharacteristically heeding my emotions instead of my intellect, I kept you around.  I should have broken up with you back then.

You see, even though I have been very careful about who I "friend" on thefacebook, you have been kind of like a whore.  I have turned down thousands of friend requests, from some really, really nice people... people who likely agree with me and my worldview.  These are people who probably are very careful about who they "friend", and they likely would be awesome "friends" - but I rejected them and stayed with you.  All the while, you were "friending" every Tom, Dick and Benny Hinn that came along.  You've really whored yourself out to the point that every time I read one of your posts (which I don't like, by the way), I then am bombarded by hundreds of comments from apostates and worldlly Wal-Mart religious slutlings.  These are people with whom even YOU don't have anything in common.  But your self-esteem is so bad (the world says it is low, but I disagree, actually it is high, but that is a point for another post...) that you have whored yourself out on thefacebook to anyone who might send you a friend request.  If I ever dare post a comment on your thread, I am attacked by what are obviously the worst people in the whole world - godless clowns and bat-loving a$$hats who are dying to bust hell wide open.

It's all bad for my blood pressure.

Or worse... you constantly post inane crap, sappy music, apostate nonsense, or emotional b.s. on your thefacebook, and that junk shows up on my "timeline" or whatever the hell they are calling it now, and now thefacebook has made it so complicated for me to block your nonsense (or actually see the updates I want to see), that only the junk I hate is actually showing up on my thread-thingy-majiggy.  Seriously, I hate so-called "christian" music even more than I hate the stupid email forwards you post that expose the deeply hidden secret that the government is monitoring social media.

It's not that I am telling you what to do.  You can be a thefacebook whore if you like.  But that is why I'm breaking up with you.  I'm more careful about who I "friend", and you aren't.  It's not me... it's you.  We never had much in common anyway, and your parents and family always hated me (don't feel bad... mine do too), so this is for the best.

Believe me, you won't even miss me.  You are surrounded by mindless drones, and religious idolaters who dig you and who think you are the bees knees.  I'm a separatist... so you knew this was coming eventually.  I know you won't do it, but you can still "like" my fanpage... which is to say that we can just be friends, we just can't be "friends".

Please don't take it too hard.  We'll always have Youtube.

Your ex-"friend",

Michael


11 comments:

Shannon said...

That video is awesome.

Celt said...

Good Morning, Mr. Bunker.

Just read your post and wanted to add my own two cents.

#1. I have no problem at all being on the 'FAN' page, but I am not sure which one I am on. I check Facebook only occasionally anymore as I have made my migration to Google+. I know they probably work for the statist government but at this point in my life I simply don't care. On Google+ I have control over the content and who gets to see it.

#2. I love your updates, but seeing how I get most of my info from your blog I don't find it much benefit to me personally to go to facebook to 'check in' on my 'friends'. I am a huge fan (even if we disagree on some theological issues) and love watching/reading about the group in Texas and your different projects. Keep up the good work!

#3. I am not a financial supporter although I should be. For that, I am truly regretful. Your frustration is indeed understandable and I am 100% behind you. Feel free to break up with me, as I just don't go to Facebook that often anymore. Maybe a quick skim here and there, but nothing substantive.

-silvershamrockfarms IE. Robert C. Mullins

Anonymous said...

Thank you, Michael! I fully understand where you are coming from and share your sentiments, full heartedly! I keep my "friends" list small, mostly people that I really DO know. The others have sincere hearts. I turn down more requests than I actually have friends. Take care, and God Bless!
Judy Pfaus

Anonymous said...

Good Michael. I think facebook has killed your BA website. There are very few new posts there since about a year ago. I never did the facebook thing for the same reason you are getting off it. I think it's the biggest time waster ever invented. Glad to read that you are rid of it. Maybe more people will participate in the forum discussions on BA.com now.

I'm going to send that video to a few people I know too. Thank you for it.

Al

PaladinJKC said...

I NEVER liked FB. NEVER. Too many ads, constantly changing the guts of FB and the privacy settings and the TOS. It is WAY too complicated for the average user to understand what it really means to Like, Fan, or Friend someone. From my vantage point as a fairly savvy PC user I see little value added using FB.

Carmen Bruno said...

When we started on fb maybe about a year ago, it was mostly for business, i was overwhelmed by reading other people's daily business, that was the first time I experienced lack of privacy. About four months ago, i defriended "everyone" and now i'm only on the business side of it and that is enough for me. That was the best decision I've made.

Ann from KY said...

Oh well, I was never even on Facebook. I am too busy living an agrarian lifestyle and being a wife, mom and a teacher to my children that I don't have time for Facebook! I'll just keep reading and keeping up with you here. God Bless!

Julie-Ann said...

I was going to forward this post to a few people but decided not to. Thank you, Michael.

TheBaldwinGang said...

Best "Dear John" letter I've seen. :-)
But seriously; this is the same reason I stopped "doing" facebook after about 2-3 months. I felt that it created a fantasy world where you have all kinds of imaginary friends, creating a false sense of community, and was a HUGE waste of time. I agree it also is too easy to give away too much private information about your family. I decided to drop it a couple years ago, and haven't missed it.
The bees knees? Wow, haven't heard that in a long time.
Blessings -
The Baldwins

Profil said...

Well said. And the song is great!

Joseph said...

There is a button to share on FB but can you add a like button?

Couldn't resist Michael.